One Day at a Time

     For years I didnt want to get sober. Then every once and a great while it would rear its ugly little head and reality would hit me in the face. I'm an actor and you'll never get anywhere like this. And what sucks is that it's true. Talent, charisma, all there. The problem is alot of people want to project there shit on you. So, having done this a million times before, I gave it another shot.
     I had enough cash to get through the holidays and go out with a final hurrah. But for whatever reason I just knew that the time was now! If I were to put it off I might not want to do it later.I called Cabrini Hospital Detox and got in the day before Christmas 2000. I got straight and went in. I remember the councelor telling me that I must want this as she put $300. in the envelope that was to go down to the vault with security.
     I pretty much slept the first 2 days. Even though they gave me methadone,lithium and something for benzo's I still felt like shit. When I said I did a bundle of dope a day it was. Alot of these assholes would lie about what they did to get high off the medication.It took awhile for me to hold down food and not feel nausious. And I had gotten to know all the others on the unit. The staff all knew me. Lord, I used detox to bring down my habit. I had the private room at the end of the hall, by the councelors office. I didnt want to use but this pretty young blonde and I hit it off. She managed to come up with a condom and thats all she wrote. We brought in the New Year right. If you're gonna break rules break them right. It was quiet on the unit and the hospital room with the lights off became a room in paradise somewhere else in the world for about an hour. We had  made plans that just never panned out. I was going to a rehab from there. I was accepted at Smithers Rehab. We where able to hook up 2 more times before she was to go home. We also spent alot of time talking about how we screwed things up, and how we where gonna make things better this time. Most of the other patients weren't there to try recovery. I have been where they're at so many times before. The reason she and I connected was that for both she and I there was something different this time.
      She had reached her discharge date and as she was about to leave she turned around and grabbed me in her arms and kissed me passionately. It surprised me and the nurses.The funny thing is that they didnt say anything. We looked at eachother and just smiled. She was gone.Ofcourse the other male patients made some comments. Those people didnt get that we needed eachother, even if for a short time. The ladies seemed to understand. I could see it in their smiles.My last 2 days were long. I made it through detox and was taken by cab to the great Smithers Rehab.