A Hard Honest Look In

Because of whats going on with me, I have no energy. I know I'm strong but I have no energy, no drive, very little follow through. I can sit and type but I have a hard time walking up the hill to the bus. I get winded. I have to stop and take a break.
Part of this is simple. Smoking cigarettes will take your breath. It'll rob me of the very life I have fought so hard to have. What makes it frustrating is that I have done this to me. You further complicate it with whats going on with my thyroid and you got a situation that leaves me drained.
My day started out like any ol' saturday. When I walked over to Cano and the fellas he started talking shit with the he said she said crap. Turns out my pediphile neighbor has been walking around trying to put me into any number of situations that are all untrue and petty. All part of his sick mind. I put a stop to it immediately.You can lie about me but it dont change the truth about you. You're a fucking rapist and a child molester. NOBODY wants you around.Your mouth is gonna get you hurt punk cause only a sick mind would say that a 12 year old wants to get fucked in the ass.You can argue all you want but you're nothing but a fucking lier. Then he tried to argue and as I walked away I told him to use his 50k when he needs to eat.
I have a great memory and I thank my stars that I dont hold onto things for long periods of time.You need to let things go, but you need to remember because its said that "Those who forget are bound to repeat".That by the way is something thats said in 12 step meetings, but has been around along time ago.
The end of my evening was far from uneventful.I went to visit a woman that I see once in awhile. She had company. She actually wanted me to wait while she took care of some other cat. Not only did I bounce, I deleted the contact info.When a broad like that tries to put you in the box it's up to you to stay or go The finally of the nite came with a guy saying I'm lucky my brothers alive. I may not be close to him but I'm not gonna let you tell me how you're gonna hurt him.Bottom line I got hit two times. I hit him three good shots but I just cant go. I dont have the energy.I couldnt breath either We did wrestle around but this other fucking guy keep getting in my way. I yelled at him to let my fucking go, it was like fighting two fucking guys.
I finally just walked away. I couldnt even breath. I've gotten so used to looking at this good looking guy in the mirror and good looks have shit to do with throwing down.
When your involved in serious training you dont have time to waste.Not with fighting, arguing, not with others who are unfocused. The committment is wholehearted, theres no half steppingt!The immediate benefits are health. The secondary are how it fills the other areas of your life. I know it aint gonna be easy, but what in life that worth having comes easy!!!