Blindspot

I have come to realize that I have a defiscieny. There is a part of my psychy that is either underdeveloped or is nonexistent. There are times in my life where I either choose to not see or I can't see what's infront of me. Too often I impress myself with how quick I can get things done. As if speed matters more then a correct and accurate assessment. To be close only counts in horse shoes. So many people lie and or misrepresent themselves that it is virtually impossible to take someone at face value. Then there are those who have been burned and they don't trust anyone.
Even with all the bad experiences I still manage to stay open. I have become quite good at letting the water roll off my back. But each time something happens it seems to take a little piece of me away with it.
Sadly, some people can't change. Some people when given the chance between the truth and a lie will select the lie. Like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It becomes preposterous when the individual is beyond retirement years. The age of an elder and the emotional development of a child.
I tell myself that I can't even be disappointed or upset because I should know better. Is it my fault? No! Not at all. I can rationalize that there was a need in me that this situation filled. Important, is to be aware that the time has come for me to move on. If you let yourself be taken for granted you are opening yourself up for abuse. An individual who has self esteem doesn't allow for things to go that far. There is a line that doesn't get crossed. Because I care it is painful. Because I care about myself I know that by going through it I'll grow.
Hardship can either make you jaded and bitter, or make you open to new possibility.