Sunday, September 22, 2013

Pretense of leadership

     Driving a cab for a company is the same everywhere in NYC. You got dispatchers. And without a doubt you'll find that they are some of the most corrupt people in the company. Owners want there money. But the dispatcher wants yours. They get a salary and then they want to suck the drivers dry. Lie cheat and steal. I compare them to Swiss cheese. Full of wholes with no substance. My company is like one big incestuous, maggot pile. The father sons cousins etc. they're South Americans who come from a place where theft rape and murder are so common place that abortions are considered a waste of money. What they don't get is that they'll never be anything else. They're so attached to the crumbs that they never bothered to do anything else. So if they loose there jobs its all gone! I'm not alone in my dislike of them. Just about every driver is disgusted with them. It's just sad that the owners know about them stealing and lying and turns a blind eye. It's said that they steal from him too. No secret, that's why I'm in such dismay. The answer : work elsewhere. Just more of the same shit!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Divorce, yes

I can pretend it was my fault. But it wasn't. I'm me. I'm honest and at times it's to a fault. The fact that she is a redneck and she was raised in a completely racist KKK atmosphere is no lie.
     You know what? I don't even want to go there. I'm glad it's over. It sucked. I didn't like her and I'm so happy it's over I could shit. All over her. I win I'm single and don't have to ever see her again. YESSSSSS!!!!

Monday, September 16, 2013

About mass murder

Something I don't get is murdering innocent people. I don't even know where to start. What I can say is I pray for their souls. And I pray for their families and loved ones. May. They find peace and comfort.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Honesty

How many years can you lie to yourself? Try until your last breath. Now maybe no one will know. But what if that's not so? What if you can go through eternity knowing? If we think 100 years is a long time can you imagine 100 yrs?
     I believe that self honesty is the most significant thing. If in fact we become souls, ideally it would be best to be at peace. 
     There are those who may know and that if only that reason is reason enough to strive for enlightenment. 
     Peace be with you.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

At peace

When you finally are aware of what it is that's caused you to hold that self hate you relax and find peace. Sit with it and enjoy it. It'll be the one time you'll feel comfortable without having the need to take action. See, after that minute you'll know that to achieve it again you'll have to take action and change. You'll have to work and at times work hard. Really hard. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Writing the biography

     At 53 I've finally become an adult. I don't care about anyone in my families bullshit. What I mean is that my life is about me. I matter. Better late then never! 
     I'm finally responsible for me. Any one else is by choice. Not because they're related. I don't owe any one anything unless I decide I do. My mother especially. My brothers and sister have to handle there owe messes. I've always been there to protect them. And they only reach out to me cause they are in need. They make no effort unless they want or need something. 
     A perfect example is my half brother and sister. As soon as they got a little money and job security they cut me out of there lives. Only problem is that they dare both spineless and weak. Never having truly faced hard times as soon as things get tight they'll fold. I make special efforts to avoid my half brother. I helped him on a shoot. And because I was liked by everyone he made sure to tell everyone that I was a junkie who drive a cab to stay high. That he smokes pot all day means nothing. And of less meaning is that I'm clean. 
     I can't change the past but I am the creator of my future. And only those that are a part of the team will play in my game. To those I give my love!