what a difference

We all identify with others abandoning us. But what about when we abandon ourselves? So much of the focus is on our outer selves. To look inwards, to see inwards is so much more scary. Then you can get to the point that you dont care. So much energy used on doing this work where you become disgusted and you dont want to. Nobody else cares why should I?
But if you dont it is seldom that anyone else will. Its exhausting digging deep to find the energy to combat the evil both from within and from the outside. Years of abuse can construct a wall so thick that it may seem impossible to break thru it. It can be food, drugs, booze, cigarettes or anything else. Or any combination of things. When you finally get down to the bare end,all you are left with asking God, or your higer power to help you. The Lord has to, because man wont.
My good fortune is that I do have one real friend. If I ask this guy for anything he will help. He's helped me in the past and he will help me again. I'm graced with that. That is one of the reasons I dont ask him for help. Knowing hes there gives me the strength to fight even harder.
Im single, not involved in an intimate relationship. What baffles me is how and why so many people go out of there way to be at odds with there signifigant others. When you marry or pick a partner, why wouildnt you want that person to be your friend, if not your closest confidant. Im lucky enough to have a friend, but if I was with a women I would hope that we had a deep personal relationship. At least to be close. Its so much nicer when there is unity. When youre both rowing in the same direction. May all your oars row in the same direction.

Cant get no, saticfaction....

Inside my head, Im screaming,"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Im an intellegent, handsome, smooth talking man who walks it. I finally shut down Facebook and Myspace because of unnecessary sensorship and their excessive control and inability to correct errors that they implemented.
Im not looking for sex, or dating and they didnt let me make friends. So, what fucking use are they for me? Im an actor, writer and I drive a cab. Anyone who needs me will have my personal phone. It'll be biz thru the union and my agents.
I had a scam artist Sanya Smith. This is a hoe who has her own listing on the net because with her stupid game she has burned countless men. Personally I dont get how they fall for it? But if youre lonely I guess it can happen.To my brothers who got burned, I feel for them. Its sad to be in a place like that. I hope that theyve learned from it. there are people that will take your last dime and feel nothing. Learn and remember.